Close, But No...
Cigar?
Had hoped to remain at shelter here until pension day two days from now but night before last proved to be the last straw.
Today I'm dealing w suspected bout of food poisoning from last meal (dinner yesterday) at shelter I won't be returning to. Heading to walk in clinic when they open to ascertain whether my suspicions are correct and if not, then hopefully what else it's not.
Spent this night at initial 'shelter' again (24hr coffee & donut chain) not eating much, sipping water & ginger ale. This morning ventured some solids. So far so good.
So two nights no or little rest now, Saturday overnight spent hitting can every few hours and last night here in Tims. Slow as.
I need peace and quiet and time to think, plan and execute next steps in this adventure. A possibility looms, just waiting to be torpedoed (!) which is rented office space so I can do something worthwhile even while unhoused.
The shared working space is reputedly inhabited by techies and similar professionals which is also a draw ... it will make it easier to believe I am not insane... something about being kettled with patrons of low barrier shelter unsocialized, mentally challenged or addicts (active & recovered) alcoholics (same) makes me feel that way.
Constraints on movement grated mightily (you'd have to be there) and no longer possible to tolerate smoking patio as only place to smoke joints (sanity sticks) bc also only place to smoke cancer sticks that smoke being an irritant to my respiratory system... I threw up dinner that night and almost made it out the building (heading for a walk to settle back pain, fresh air before curfew).
Would have made it but for smelling cigarette smoke in entrance which is far from patio if saw layout... yeah, think prison level security... two doors that are opened only when buzz to get in... and there's sleeping in smallish room with no air ventilation, lights on full whenever one occupant feels the need... heated by small space heater that runs all night every night and up to 6 occupants for night.
Obscenities screamed over coffee at 7am... even though I wake up at 4:30/5 regularly... can't do anything but go to can, sit on patio, or sit on bunk bed in room... until coffee. can't even leave bldg before 7am or you have to wait an hour (or two depending workers opinions of your transgression) before can check in to get a bunk that night... which is 6pm. 6 bunks in the room that women are sequestered in up for grabs and there have been 5 people there once since I arrived... usually three, incl me... it's just like being in middle of another dysfunctional family except I am done w that shit in my life... no time ( it IS my life ) for this... I have a life to reboot and nothing about this shelter is going to help in that regard. just opposite - grinding me down psychologically and physically ... no more.
I took to ignoring as much as could - earplugs whenever people up and around... people actively using street drugs in doorways behind shelter but I am not allowed to roll a legal joint indoors bc it's considered using or preparing to... but needles & kit in communal shower/toilet area...staff treat people like children rules rules... arbitrary whimsically enforced... fuck this.
I have things to get squared for myself. This sort of 'help' isn't.
So here I be again... begging for bit of financial love from the Universe.
Two days left of my OAS 'month' and no cash to eat / drink / be at Tims or McDs and no other place for me to be overnight and out of rain / cold. Shelter was food source until weekend incident.
Not a lot in scheme of things - $30/40 would do fine - unless you too are impoverished, in which case 🫂to you my friend.
email to assist by e-Interac if you can is [removed bc transfer rec'd]
>>> Merci beaucoup! <<<
Oh. Right. Please check this post before sending... I'll update and remove email when no longer in need. Hope that works for everyone.
Thanks for reading all these words! 🙏